New Beginning
I have only waited now to see if I get a new beginning. I wait with bated breath for the results of my End of Year results which would most likely play a large part in my Promotional Status since it holds 60 %, the other 40% from Mid Years and Continual Assessment, what a dread. Especially since I am a Kairos student (read: retained) and I MUST at least pass all subjects. Well not that I have any reasons not to.
So if I get through this first obstacle, then the next hurdle will be the block test (literally). It's a common test but with year 1 topics tested again along with whatever J2 topics they might have covered then. To fail it means to drop to Year 1 again or maybe kicked out for Kiaros student. I should be able to pass that, but its to depressing to think otherwise.>>
If I don't get through however my life would be screwed upside down totally. One, because it would mean I have wated 2 years of my life trying to get through the route I thought was best for me to get to University. This also translates to me being behind my peers by at least 2 years. Two, it also might mean I get to enter the army first before going to Polytechnic. Some say its good for introspection during that 2 year haitus from studies, but I think it would be really bad being bogged down with worries of routes I can enter while trying to learn to serve the country. Three, my parents will be screaming mad. I honestly don't know what they'll do, but I would bet a 100% that they would be sorely disappointed and this would carry on with me for the rest of my life unless I can actually prove them it was meant to be this way.
My life seem to be bad already, what could be worse? Please don't raise material aspect because its only and always temporary, there always must be something to upkeep it. In this case I am so sheltered by my parents and we failed to recognise until too late. I feel like I am not equipped with life skills that grants me independence. Almost all my major life decisions we made by my parents or at least largely influenced by them. While I am not blaming them for trying to help me, but sometimes I think I am not living the life I was meant to or want to. Yes, they might understand the challanges and difficulties of our local life, but to make someone not themselves live they way they think is right is not really ideal. Anyhow, its too late to change anything, all I can do is try to slowly take charge of my life and find out who I am and what I really want.
Another thing is friends. I don't know man nowadays I find them so strange. Until today I think I maybe only be able to count with one hand the ones that I really trust. The others are doubtful sometimes not entirely their fault. I can be a confusing person sometimes. (If you read Aquarius-Pisces Cusps, it might help to explain some or most of my traits. I feel like I am torn apart sometimes.) Anyway Sometimes I feel like I am being used or exploited the way I do not like and I probably don't really show any opposition to it. I always try to know and understand other people but I don't know if its true in the opposite way. I really really don't know.
Anyway I hope I bring good news this year for next year.
So if I get through this first obstacle, then the next hurdle will be the block test (literally). It's a common test but with year 1 topics tested again along with whatever J2 topics they might have covered then. To fail it means to drop to Year 1 again or maybe kicked out for Kiaros student. I should be able to pass that, but its to depressing to think otherwise.>>
If I don't get through however my life would be screwed upside down totally. One, because it would mean I have wated 2 years of my life trying to get through the route I thought was best for me to get to University. This also translates to me being behind my peers by at least 2 years. Two, it also might mean I get to enter the army first before going to Polytechnic. Some say its good for introspection during that 2 year haitus from studies, but I think it would be really bad being bogged down with worries of routes I can enter while trying to learn to serve the country. Three, my parents will be screaming mad. I honestly don't know what they'll do, but I would bet a 100% that they would be sorely disappointed and this would carry on with me for the rest of my life unless I can actually prove them it was meant to be this way.
My life seem to be bad already, what could be worse? Please don't raise material aspect because its only and always temporary, there always must be something to upkeep it. In this case I am so sheltered by my parents and we failed to recognise until too late. I feel like I am not equipped with life skills that grants me independence. Almost all my major life decisions we made by my parents or at least largely influenced by them. While I am not blaming them for trying to help me, but sometimes I think I am not living the life I was meant to or want to. Yes, they might understand the challanges and difficulties of our local life, but to make someone not themselves live they way they think is right is not really ideal. Anyhow, its too late to change anything, all I can do is try to slowly take charge of my life and find out who I am and what I really want.
Another thing is friends. I don't know man nowadays I find them so strange. Until today I think I maybe only be able to count with one hand the ones that I really trust. The others are doubtful sometimes not entirely their fault. I can be a confusing person sometimes. (If you read Aquarius-Pisces Cusps, it might help to explain some or most of my traits. I feel like I am torn apart sometimes.) Anyway Sometimes I feel like I am being used or exploited the way I do not like and I probably don't really show any opposition to it. I always try to know and understand other people but I don't know if its true in the opposite way. I really really don't know.
Anyway I hope I bring good news this year for next year.
Comments
Post a Comment